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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Made
Mugger
Muggers
Mask
Wear
Took
Night
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
Rodney Dangerfield
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
Rodney Dangerfield
If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
Rodney Dangerfield
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
