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I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Kids
Humor
Funny
Three
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
Rodney Dangerfield
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
Rodney Dangerfield
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
