Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Holds
Cover
Breath
Breaths
Arms
Found
Way
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
Rodney Dangerfield
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield