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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sundial
Sundials
Ugly
Stop
Face
Faces
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
