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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Bed
King
Size
Kings
Two
Bikini
Made
Bikinis
Sheets
Fats
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
