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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Makers
Fats
Clothes
Made
Omar
Tent
Tents
Maker
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
