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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Childhood
Step
Took
Steps
Firsts
First
Men
Tripped
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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