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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tripped
Childhood
Step
Took
Steps
Firsts
First
Men
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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