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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Good
Appeal
Appeals
Absolutely
Everyone
Problem
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
Rodney Dangerfield
We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
Rodney Dangerfield
