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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Problem
Good
Appeal
Appeals
Absolutely
Everyone
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
Rodney Dangerfield
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
