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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Fire
Guy
Lasts
Last
Ties
Funny
Caught
Tried
Humor
Week
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I don't get no respect
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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