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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Jerk
Neighbor
Supposed
Self
Love
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
Rodney Dangerfield
I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
