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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Cutting
Months
Wife
Guy
Two
Lovemaking
Month
Entirely
Guys
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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