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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Entirely
Guys
Cutting
Months
Wife
Guy
Two
Lovemaking
Month
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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