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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Month
Entirely
Guys
Cutting
Months
Wife
Guy
Two
Lovemaking
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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