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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Keep
Better
Think
Thinking
Confirm
People
Introvert
Idiot
Quiet
Speak
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
Rodney Dangerfield
He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield