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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Love
Either
Think
Happened
Thinking
Lasts
Last
Nothing
Tried
Matter
Anybody
Make
Marriage
Time
Wife
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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