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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Nothing
Tried
Matter
Anybody
Make
Marriage
Time
Wife
Love
Either
Think
Happened
Thinking
Lasts
Last
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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