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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Looks
Confusion
Doctors
Turned
Took
Face
Faces
Born
Twins
Look
Doctor
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I don't get no respect
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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