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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Men
Cellars
Like
Locked
Wine
Gets
Told
Wife
Age
Better
Cellar
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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