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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sent
Mark
Tenth
Window
Suicidal
Humor
Priest
Talk
Depressed
Funny
Jump
Remember
Priests
Going
Floor
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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