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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Looks
Suicidal
Alike
Killed
Dog
Humor
Funny
Found
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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