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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Looks
Suicidal
Alike
Killed
Dog
Humor
Funny
Found
Look
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
