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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Love
Dating
Phone
Phones
Looked
Wife
Making
Night
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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