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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Days
Come
Bucks
Make
Hey
Love
Dating
Like
Honey
Asked
Told
Wife
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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