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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Days
Come
Bucks
Make
Hey
Love
Dating
Like
Honey
Asked
Told
Wife
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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