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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Mouths
Saws
Lasts
Last
Time
Like
Shack
Hook
Mouth
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
