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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Drugs
Whenever
Drug
Asks
Someone
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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I can't get no respect.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
