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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Real
Tough
Crime
Butter
Humor
Knife
Wasn
Pulled
Knew
Knives
Came
Neighborhood
Guy
Witty
Funny
Professional
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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