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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Comedy
Wife
Eye
Funny
Keep
Garbage
Trying
Humor
Always
Already
Told

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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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