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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Years
Poster
Posters
Birth
Asked
Boys
Comedy
Control
Year
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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