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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Boys
Comedy
Control
Year
Years
Poster
Posters
Birth
Asked

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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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