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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Posters
Birth
Asked
Boys
Comedy
Control
Year
Years
Poster
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield