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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Still
Twenties
Men
Fight
Time
Wants
Seventy
World
Full
Reformation
Age
Seventies
Fighting
Aging
Hope
Twenty
Stills
Reform
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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