Quote

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Fighting
Aging
Hope
Twenty
Stills
Reform
Still
Twenties
Men
Fight
Time
Wants
Seventy
World
Full
Reformation
Age
Seventies

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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
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