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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Bird
Humor
Told
Comedy
Wife
Butcher
Funny
Butchers
Kids
Bees
Birds
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
Rodney Dangerfield
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
