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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Boyfriend
Cute
Broke
Yeah
Rocks
Marriage
Wife
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
Rodney Dangerfield
