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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Broke
Yeah
Rocks
Marriage
Wife
Funny
Boyfriend
Cute
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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