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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Boyfriend
Cute
Broke
Yeah
Rocks
Marriage
Wife
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
