Quote

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Comedy
Funny
Breast
Mother
Feds
Never
Breasts
Liked
Friend
Humor
Told

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Image
I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield