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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sex
Humor
Wasn
Funny
Life
Pockets
Pick
Picks
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
Rodney Dangerfield
