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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Covering
Cat
Kept
Played
Humor
Funny
Sandbox
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
Rodney Dangerfield
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
