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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sandbox
Covering
Cat
Kept
Played
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
