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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Doors
Coming
Comedy
Wife
Inspirational
Unfortunately
Night
Sexy
Home
Mets
Door
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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