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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Home
Mets
Door
Doors
Coming
Comedy
Wife
Inspirational
Unfortunately
Night
Sexy
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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I don't get no respect
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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