Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Kids
Carries
Around
Carrie
Dad
Picture
Humor
Came
Wallet
Funny
Wallets
Father
Fatherhood
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Rodney Dangerfield
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
Rodney Dangerfield
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
Rodney Dangerfield
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
