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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Bone
Pet
Bones
Favorite
Dog
Arms
Irritated
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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