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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Arms
Irritated
Bone
Pet
Bones
Favorite
Dog
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
Rodney Dangerfield
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
