Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Irritated
Bone
Pet
Bones
Favorite
Dog
Arms
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Rodney Dangerfield
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Rodney Dangerfield
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
