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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Everything
Marriage
Take
Rooms
Relationship
Sleep
Vacations
Politics
Vacation
Funny
Separate
Keep
Apart
Together
Dinner
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.
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