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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Take
Rooms
Relationship
Sleep
Vacations
Politics
Vacation
Funny
Separate
Keep
Apart
Together
Dinner
Everything
Marriage
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield
