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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Funny
Lap
Family
Uncle
Wish
Uncles
Wanted
Chair
Chairs
Electric
Dying
Humor
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
