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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wanted
Chair
Chairs
Electric
Dying
Humor
Funny
Lap
Family
Uncle
Wish
Uncles
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
Rodney Dangerfield
