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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Parents
Humor
Fun
Parent
Looking
Funny
Kids
Halloween
Like
Sent
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I don't get no respect
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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I can't get no respect.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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