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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Clock
Gay
London
Comedy
Went
Bigs
Find
Cousins
Cousin
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate me as a lover?' She said, 'You know I'm no good at fractions.'
Rodney Dangerfield
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is just a bowl of pits.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
Rodney Dangerfield
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
